STEP #1: BE A GIRL

THERE ARE NO OTHER STEPS

I’m going to VidCon today and these are my costume choices! These are really cool pieces but unfortunately these pictures make my clothes look hungover, so pardon the lumpen masses of fabric. I’m putting these items into retirement after the weekend because I’ve probably worn these two outfits the most this summer, but the Anaheim Convention center doesn’t know that, amirite?!

The thing on the left is a frightening circus tent of an ensemble. Mumus are so misunderstood! But it feels like home to me and makes my butt look like a 70s pancake.  Color-cockblocking here I come!!!!

I bought the black-green dress (it’s folded in half here) at Shareen Vintage, which is an awesome vintage hideout in downtown LA that is literally a warehouse filled with the most unique vintage dresses you will ever come across.  We’ll see how long I last in this thing in the hot bitchass So-Cal atmosphere.  It tends to turn into a polyester prison if I am not air conditioned or refrigerated after sitting/standing/dancing/complaining in a room with several humans.  Maybe the Disney folks in Anaheim will let me sneak into Walt’s cryogenic freeze chamber for a disco nap if I get overheated. If you hear a loud “Thwaaaaap-SNAP” noise later, it is me pulling a swatch of polyester that has adhered to my sweaty back. Yeah, this is definitely a bad choice for an El Lay summer day, but I’m a stubborn lady who feels like looking all Brady Bunch sometimes.

I’m wearing sandals where the front strap has a complicated metallic exoskeleton that mimics the way my soul felt when my car was abruptly towed from the Vons parking lot yesterday morning: spiky, fragile, and exposed. But I’m still excavating them from somewhere under my bed so a picture will have to w8, QUEEN!